One of my roommates is extremely annoying, and completely fucking full of herself, and I am beyond done dealing with her, in general, right now.
She thinks she’s literally the greatest musician ever (except for Leonard Cohen, who she worships [he’s a great writer, but a God-awful musician, for the record]). What does her voice sound like? It sounds like a combination of Norah Jones, Joanna Newsome, and Anthony Green. Sound good? IT’S NOT. If I start playing a song, she automatically sees fit to sing it, louder than me (yes, it’s possible), and make it about twenty million times worse, by adding a ridiculous harmony that shouldn’t exist. Today, I had enough of it, and told her that her voice does not sound good for all types of music. She cried, and called me a hipster.
Now, I don’t mind being called that in a joking manner, by MY FRIENDS; I actually think it’s pretty funny. But when someone who is the epitome of pretentious hipster sleaze calls me that, I tend to become slightly testy.
I paused for a moment, before I replied.
Me: “And what, pray tell, do you consider a hipster?”
Her: “A hipster is someone who:
-only listens to a bands older material, and bashes anything new they put out.
(she detests the latest albums from EVERY one of her “favorite” bands, even if they are really good [one of them just won “Album of the Year” at the Grammys])
-wears ridiculous oversized glasses that don’t have prescription lenses in them.
(she has EIGHT PAIRS. I counted.)
-rides a fixed gear bicycle, because they think that they look cooler
(you guessed it… it’s faux-vintage, made to look like it’s from the 50’s)
-and generally thinks that everything they do is superior to everyone else, because it isn’t “mainstream.”
Me: “Ellerie, you do realize that you just described yourself, exactly, right?”
Her: “That’s just what a hipster would say…”
Then she walked away.
I need to be away from this fucking trainwreck for a while…